Unexpected. Unintended. Unknown

hmm,,
i don't know how but it just came,,
it's unexpected,,
yes, feeling this way towards you, is unexpected, and unintended,,
i don't know how and when did it happen..
you just started to fill my mind day by day,, til today,,
truth be told,,
i must admit,, since you came,,
you've been filling my days with smile, laughter, tears, and so much more feeling all blended in one,,

is this love?
i must say i'm not really sure bout it,,
LOVE is kinda a strong word, you know,,
but all i know now is that,,
yes, i care for you,,
yes, whenever you're sad i really want to comfort you and help you get through it all,,
yes, you crosses my mind all the time,,
yes, i always miss you whenever you're not around,,
yes, i feel comfortable whenever i'm with you,,
yes, i like you,,
*BLUSH* can't believe i've just typed that out,, LOL

well,so,, is it love? or is it crush? if this feeling i'm feeling is truly a crush,, i bet it's a huge one,, XD
you want to know some funny facts about this?
well at first, when i know you,,
i never thought this feeling will come,,
and now when i think about it all over again,,
how could it be you?
how can i feel the way i feel for you??
how could this happen?
when is it?
well there are so much more questions and mysterious things spinning inside my head,,
well, that's just sth we can't answer, right?
cause it's unexpected,,
and what i can say is that i'm really happy, grateful, thankful, and lucky to know "YOU",,

at first,, you seemed so certain,, and i'm the one feeling uncertain,,
til you made me feel certain til now,, but i don't know bout your feeling,,
it's unknown,,
sometimes i wonder,,
"am i getting the wrong meaning of everything you've done for me? for how you've been treating me?"
how stressful is that?
but like what people always said,, "let it flow"
and i am,,,
because we never know what the future brings, right?

eventhough i must admit that you're not the same anymore,,
you're not the way you used to anymore,,
we didn't chat as often as we used to,,
we didn't say sth like "i miss you" and whatsoever anymore,,
we didn't call each other's nicknames anm,,
we didn't spend times as often as we used to anm,,
we didn't share stories and opinions as much as we used to anm,,
truth be told, i miss all those moments,, =(
i still remember how you came to my house with that yummy thing that just surprised me,, thankyouthankyouthankyou,, that event made my day! =D *hell yeah, i love surprises* X)
and i still remember how shocked i am that there's someone waiting inside your car at that moment,,
i still remember that picture you showed me,, even it's just sth that crossed your mind, but surely it makes me smile,,,
i still remember how you taught me lots of things,, which some of em have become my habits,,
and hey, i still remember that you promised me sth,, but you'll tell me what was it when the time's right, won't you? *haha*
and so so much more things,,
oh, really,, i miss them all,, =(
wonder if you do? @.@

but how am i supposed to clarify that?
who am i to say all those things,,?? *haeh*


ppl keep telling me to get you out of my head,,
but it's like quoted in a song,,
"cause i've tried and tried to walk away,, but i know this crush ain't going awayyyyy,,"
and all these times,, it's like i'm playing Colbie Caillat's Falling For You over and over again,,
hehe,,

and seems like recently you're not having good mood,,
hope things will be better for you soon,,
amen,, *knockonsthwoodthreetimes*

well, enough blabbering,,
at least i feel relieved a bit,,
ah, having show later on,, hope everything's gonna be fine,,
better off to bed,, goodnight,, and goodnight to you,, =)

Memories

hmm,,
it's been a while..
can't believe how time flies so fast..
it's October now..

atm, I'm sitting alone..
truth be told I don't even know what I'm gonna type. =.="
It's just,,
I kinda really need a place to talk, need someone to talk to, which I don't,,
so I ended typing these stuffs.. haahaa..

well, talking bout time,,
as I've always said,, time flies so fast,,
recently,, those memories keep coming back,,
all those beautiful, happy, thrilling, touching, sad, heartbreaking memories..
it made me smile and cry at the same time, tho..
I miss those moments,,
but I'd like to make sure one thing,,
no matter how much I want to go back,,
I never regret any of it..
I'm thankful it happened,,
even nobody wants it to end that way,,
but still,,
life goes on, right?
what's the point of looking back at stuffs you can't fix anymore,,?
you just have to stay strong, look ahead,, it doesn't mean you throw away all those memories, tho,,
it's just,, we can't live in the past forever,,
as usual, it's easier said than done,,
it was hard for me too at first,,
but somehow I managed to get through it.. thank God,, =)
and I know the road ahead might not be easy,,
I'm just hoping I'll be strong enough to face it,,

Amen.
*knock on something wood 3times*

P.S: that knockknock thingy,, I learned it from someone,, it's something we always did (hmm,, do?),,and somehow it's been my habit since then,, well, I wonder if you still remember,,? =)

Longer

Longer than there've been fishes
In the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
Up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fires in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire
Starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the
Pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes
In the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
Up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you...

Notes : This is a simple romantic song with simple melodies,, i love how this song makes me feel so comfortable, calm, and i can feel the love shown in this song,, haa, i wish one day someone could sing this simple song to me,, ❤ *high-imagination* haha,, :)

A Visit

I am so glad.
My old friend and her baby and her mom visited me at the shop this afternoon.
I've been missing her for like, forever,,
and her baby is just so adorable, i even convinced her to give her baby to me,,,
i want a baby to myself!! *haha*
anyway we had a lot talking today,,
and still, it's not enough yet,,
wish to see her soon again,,
and her baby! >.<"

we did took some pictures, but too bad i can't share it now because she hasn't copied em to me,,
i'll share it here once i got it.. :D :D

Expectation

Hmm..
What crossed your mind when you heard the word 'expectation'?
Well, for sure it's something that mostly people have in their mind.
An expectation in anything,,
It might be life, friends, family, love, work, school, blahblahblah,,
Well,, I'm gonna share you guys sth bout expectation for I have no one to talk to bout this, and I'm sure writing em here will surely make me feel relieved even a bit,,

Someone once told me, 'don't be afraid to have high expectation in something'
I was convinced back then, that there's nothing wrong in having a positive mind in everything and try to expect more in anything, that way, it could improve myself.
But lately I've been thinking,,
Is it okay to think positive and expect more most of the time?
'Cause sometimes things in life ain't that simple,,
but still,, most part of me said that it's important to being able to think positive, it's sth that motivate us in doing things,,,
expecting more?
in my opinion, it's okay if we expect sth more but NEVER forget who you REALLY are in the first place, sth ppl make too much effort when in the end they lose the idea of who they really are, or,, were..?
you can expect more,, in a positive way,expect sth and make that sth as a motivation in your life in improving yourself, not in a greedy way,which will blind us and make us even more selfish than we already are now.
and be grateful for everything in your life, whether it's good ones, which bring you happiness, or the bad ones, which give you experience and a clear picture of what this life really is. :)
BE GRATEFUL!

but somehow, things aren't gonna happen like the way you want them to happen in this life.
you can't always get what you want.
when you expected sth but it doesn't happen,,,
when you believe and trust in sth but in the end you found out that you've been trusting the wrong ideas.
hmmm.. sometimes these things rage in my mind,,
which one is the best way? think positive or not? expect more or not?
in the end, i haven't found the answer,,
so far, the best answer i can tell you guys is, be wise, knows when to think positive or expecting sth, be wise and never lose yourself.

Do you know when you decided to open your heart to someone, no matter it's your bestfriends, families, or it is to someone you care about, you're starting to look like a fool in a good way cause you just love it? Love the way you feel when you're around them? Because I do love the way I feel when I'm around them, when I'm comfortable, be the way I am around them.
And through that all, something invisible came,, expectation..
You know they're good alr the way they are, but sometimes you just have this sth called expectation in them, you expect them to feel the way you do, you expect them to treat you the way you treat them, when we already know from the beginning that they've given those things to you, but human is a human, never get enough of what they alr had now, and tends to expect more, some may come in a good way, some may not.so, whatever comes, be grateful for it,,,
things happen for a reason,, :)
And for me? I'm done expecting too much in anything..
things ain't happen the way i always expect them to be.
maybe by seeing carefully and be wise in expecting thing will make me less disappointed in the end, 'cause the more I expect sth, the more disappointed I am in the end,,

I know I'm not a perfect person, and I can't give and be anything ppl want me to be.
But this is who I am. This is how I want to live my life.
And I don't want anybody telling me, judging, or command me about what to do and don't about my life, about who i am.
i'll just let everything goes with the flow now, whatever will be, will be.

Notes: Dear someone, this may sound awkward, maybe we've met so many times and have been spending a lot of times together, but don't know why,, still, I miss you,, there I said it. I've been such a coward to admit and say anything before, but,, hey, there I said it, even I didn't have the courage to say it directly to you.haha. :)