November ♥

wow.
it's November now.
in a blink of eye, it'll be December and soon it's 2011.
wow, that's so damn fast.

well, beginning of November isn't my favorite, I should tell.
many things have happened.
truth be told i am really disappointed and broken.
i should say that it's been a hard time.
really really hard time.
i wish i could rise again.
i wish i could find the spirit to move on and be okay.
i wish i could keep all those memories away and look forward.
i wish i could tell you sth but i can't. not anymore. it's too late.
and. even though it's hard. i truly wish all the best for you.
stay happy, because i love it when you smile.
and, i'm gonna miss you.
it's not like we're being separated by distance.
it's just. i'm gonna miss the past 'you'. moments with 'you'. the one who always make me smile.
i just need some time alone right now.
to calm my mind.
to throw away this feeling, so one day i can be back to the way i used to be.
the one who always smile for you and that time, it won't be a fake smile.
the tears i've shed, no matter how much, still haven't totally reduce the pain i feel here deep down inside.
just like what ppl always said, "let the time heals"
yea, i guess, i have to agree with that one.
it's hard for me. but i don't want to burden you with my pain.
i hope i can do it well.
so, i guess it's goodbye for now.
nobody knows what the future brings, anw.
so, i'm just hoping whatever comes up in the future, it'll be the best for me. for you. for us.

i never thought it'll ended up this way actually. i didn't have a clue at all.
but life's life.
nothing's predictable.
few seconds ago it was so beautiful and wonderful, and the next second you found yourself crying out loud.
i don't know what i'm going to do or how i'm gonna be okay.
but i have to.
i have ppl who loves me and whom i love supporting me.
thank you so much my family's always been there for me.
thank you so much my besties. i don't know how miserable i would be without you guys.

Dear God, give me strength.
I really need tons of strength right now.

hmm. enough with the mellow part.
well, November's still a long way to go (is it?)
so, i believe that better days are coming for me, and i'm ready to face it. AMEN!! :) *knock on sth wood 3 times* --> I'll always remember this knocking thingy you taught me.

P.S. : i'm so happy to know you. i'm so grateful for all those beautiful memories we've shared together. i'm gonna miss you.so much. :')